i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
