You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
