Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
