I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
