wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize