Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize