based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
