so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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