My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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