Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
