I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
