Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
This house was built for laser tag.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
