hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
