Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
