just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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