last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
