I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
