i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Ladies don't puke and tell
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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