He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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