I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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