Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
