2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
