Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
