He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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