dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
