so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
