just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
