Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
