Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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