Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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