i always forget guys have bellybuttons
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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