Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
