Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
