quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
