Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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