Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
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