I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
