it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
