you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
