We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
