"it" just moved
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
