do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
