I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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