Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
