Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
