she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
