I wish my penis had an off switch
it wasn't lemon gatorade
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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