he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
