I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize