you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
