Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
