Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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