i just had sex bonerless
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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