I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Duck Duck Cougar?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
