What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
