I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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