$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
