"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
