things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
