you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize