she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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