Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize