Just cropdusted the office
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
