Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
