how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
