I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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